Go With Peace And Love

There's nothing Good in Goodbyes, especially when you have to say it to the people that were part of you at some point of life or another.

Today, exactly a year ago I, well, we lost a very dear friend of ours, and that is the closest thing I came to death or what it meant to lose someone. Who knew back then about short lived life. I actually never got to say my goodbye to her, maybe I wasn't ready to do my bit because, and this is just how I feel, holding onto memories somehow gives you power or it means that you're in control of your feelings no matter how hurt or messed up it gets, you, holding it inside of you is maybe the only way to make yourself feel that they are somehow still alive, in a form only you can describe or feel. 

Acceptance is the hardest part, grief, maybe will only comfort you for a while. But sooner or later you need to realize that, there comes a time to letting go. It is the hardest thing to do, but your Goodbyes at the end will suffice everything. 

So, here I am today to say my Goodbye to the wonderful Soul, Nangki;

"You are the most beautiful and amazing person that I have known, you were kind, smart, brave and a true friend. And I take this moment to say that I had the privilege of growing up with you even though it wasn't a lifetime, but I have seen you grow up into this beautiful soul. The tendering love that you had for people around you and you did get few jokes correct, so, I can say you were funny too!

I had spent my morning reading your space in my Slam Book(Yes! It's not cool anymore) and made me realize that, you were such a wise young lady even back then. I have engraved every words that you said and will make sure to never let you down. And I just want you to know that you were the special one, flaws or not it doesn't matter. I hope that you have found your peace."

No matter where you are now, I hope that you're safe and nothing more. 


Courage to your family and all your friends. 

I love you Nangki. Goodbye, Love.

Change Is Coming, Drink To That!

If I had a chance to go back and make the younger me aware of what's it's going to be like growing up, I would probably advise myself not to do that. Because there's a chance that I'll definitely scare the shit out the younger me. 

Life, as we know, is scary. It is short, but it sure seems a lot longer now that I've come to that stage of life where you're stuck in between contemplating life, situations. Yeah! College is over. There's a huge decision we need to make because I supposed, I'm not the kind of person who had it all planned out, at least I thought I had. 

You're now the center of attention. Prepare yourself from the incoming questions like; So, What now? What do you want to do? Or study or College decisions. And if you say, "I think I wanna take a break". You just can't escape that look on your parents or relatives faces 'Crazy Eye' look, where they will not blink for over an hour. And also, that awkward silence rave, that is going to be extremely weird. Reactions can be different but no matter what, I think it's okay to not have answers for every question the life throws at you along the way. 

I feel the decisions that you will take  at this point of time is the decision that will either make you or break you. But Hey! I'm no expert, I can be totally wrong. I guess, what I'm trying say is, that if you wanna take a break and have no decision to play at the moment, it is totally okay. As for me, I'm still contemplating the options, college or job. 

Applying for a job is actually quite tough if you're anything like me. Prior experience? Too little too less, I shouldn't be laughing at myself but I believe I'll make it, maybe not right away but One day. 

So, until then let's raise our glasses to many rejections that will be thrown into our faces or no response(which is the worst, I can't decide). 

Here's to Life, it'll suck but I'm Ready!